Things I always wish I’d said to marketers:
Wednesday, 26 September 2007 by Joscelynn TomawThere’s a bank in the kitchen here at work hawking me a special deal on its wares. For example, I can get, in 1995 fasion, checks! As if that one check a month I continue to write was really draining me financially. I can also get unlimited access to ATMs and full branch service. They might as well have said “We’ll let you be a customer.” All of this and I”ll “Receive a value of $1,370.” I find that pretty hard to believe.
We all take a lot of crap like this from people trying to sell us things and here are a few things I’ve always wished I had the nerve to say:
1. Marketer: “Receive _, of $x value for free!” - (usually a sign that a bonus item, which you would actually be willing to spend a maximum of $0 on, is being included in your purchase.)
Me: Who the are you to tell me how much I value this? Lets do a little auction and I’ll tell you how much I value this feature.
2. Marketer: “We’re providing you this thing at this seemingly high price because it is so expensive for us to produce it.”
Me: Bull honkey! Cost of production is your problem, not mine. You’re charging me this price because I let you and I have no basis for complaint. Just tell me why I’d want it, no appologetics about the price please.
3. Marketer: “You want to avoid x at all cost.”
Me: Really? You think I should pay *pinky to lip* ONE BILLION DOLLARS to avoid this?
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